Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
恶搞和广告植入之鬼才，有几个地方笑得我差点憋过去，我承认很低级但就是能戳到我笑点
创意不错欢乐多多真是恶搞无限好！法国的喜剧也太玩儿了，把“漫威”，扁蝠侠，火烧巴黎圣母院，汤姆克鲁斯等都恶搞了遍，倒挂树上接吻下落，裤子质量太差！心疼那只被电的鸭子！
一本正经地恶搞，cue了好多梗，哈哈。★★★/6.4
要不说76人队这么多年夺不成NBA总冠军呢…
Élodie Fontan是真的像Sienna Miller……22/06/20
曾经好莱坞当红喜剧巨星，这次来点认真的。化身为76人落魄球探，远在异乡慧眼识珠寻得NBA未来新星，无奈球队少老板强势鄙人有眼无珠。灵魂球探和天才少年就此踏上困难重重的选秀之路。类似的体育励志电影多不胜数，可作为篮球迷和电影迷真的无法拒绝这部片子的魅力。电影看似情节老套，平平无奇，看后却依然能给我内心泛起点点涟漪。没有人生来伟大，天选之子勒布朗也是靠着天赋和勤奋才能取得今天的成就，光鲜亮丽的NBA联盟背后也离不开一个个普普通通的人用辛勤汗水的浇灌，感谢这部电影让我们有机会更加了解联盟背后的故事。
梗的质量实在不高。一些演艺界笑话和个别屎尿屁还行，伦理哏和冒傻气的笑料太多有些糟糕，气球防护罩那个不是原创。为了巴黎圣母院的段子，给加一星吧
7.5/10，好久没遇到这么爆笑的片子了。
7分的片吧，剧情和其他传记类篮球纪录片大差不差，很励志很激情，不过缺点高潮
经典的法式无厘头喜剧的套路，法式喜剧总能抛出一些之前没见过的笑点，连巴黎圣母院和汤姆克鲁斯都来恶搞也是厉害。用到的超英梗也很多。/阿帅还是有两把刷子的，期待他和阿黑的更多作品。
老詹出品，必属精品！NBA资深球迷全片AI人脸识别停不下来
-问题没有被解决，事情会变得多严重？
还恶搞了法国电影触不可及的续集，巴黎圣母院又被烧，除了最为明显恶搞的DC和漫威，还有Seb吃的药对标黑袍纠察队的五号化合物，黑马漫画的印第安纳琼斯，就剩下image漫画没恶搞了，片尾都没忘加上恶搞海扁王。
看完一部令人失望的超级英雄电影，急需一部吐槽超英电影的电影缓解一下。以前很少接触这种国外的无厘头电影，原来这么有意思，玩笑尺度都不小，DC漫威谁都不放过。阿汤哥表示，你们黑超英就黑吧，把我捎上干什么？还有那个《触不可及2：我又能走了》真是笑死我了，太地狱了。
很不错的爆米花，最后的温馨小转折意料之外情理之中
近些年难得的喜剧片。幽默处流畅自然，刻意夸张却毫不尴尬。恶搞超级英雄，从情节到音乐再到造型。故事脉络很简单，但却能灵活运用到每一处埋下的伏笔，做到剧情中无一处废话，任何一帧画面都有其意义，十分难得。愈发觉得拍好一部喜剧电影其实越来越难，人们的泪点或许可以恒久维持在某个固定的平均水准，但笑点却总在爬升。
笑死了 片中致敬了太多太多 So恶搞是认真的
剧情太无聊了，太浮夸了，太老套了，还好笑得出来
打了二十年的野球，非常吃这个电影套路，不是篮球迷可能会觉得俗套和无聊。但是篮球迷很吃这一套。尴尬的是，主角并没有成为联盟巨星，然而反派华子不仅拿了状元，且是一颗冉冉升起的新星！把猪脚换成库里，然后结合库里的发展 编一个故事，一切就通顺了。
2022年第129部：其实还不错，恶搞电影，但还是太收敛了。
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