Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
怎么说呢……用汤姆和杰瑞的方式写这帮放出来的人，我老了，我无法理解
它带给我们一种希望，主旋律和艺术表达并不是水火不容。战争的真实感不是在于枪林弹雨，是缓慢的危险，是草丛中的蛇，是仓皇的逃跑或追逐，是悄无声息倒下的身躯，是给俘虏喂吃的，是在非人般的艰苦条件中选择云霄之上的信仰
挺好的一个故事雏形 再打磨打磨可能就可以很精彩 大部分时间都因为过度的美术手法看得云里雾里 人物虽然比较真实但也没有太立得起来 但鉴于最近“那种电影”越拍越烂的大环境 这部至少有些人性的光辉
如果抛开以前爱笑会议室的崔志佳自导自演，那这个片子可能就只打2.5星。上镜看里崔志佳胖太多，毕竟印象里几年前还是个阳光帅小伙。爱笑会议室是我从初中一直看到高中，里面的赵大明白也是以前辽宁台的主持人（话说以前辽宁台春晚也很爱看）。想到爱笑的这群青年喜剧演员还活跃在荧幕上真不容易，还在坚守当初的热爱，还能看到他们的面孔。就片子本身，倒是觉得挺踏实，走的挺踏实，“不架空，会啥说啥”感觉是初学者最理想的表现了。🤔最后结尾的吐槽崔自己也明白吧，上镜效果好一些还是减减肥吧，现在脸蛋子已经向蜡笔小新看齐了，减减以前的帅气脸还会回来的
就像主角看教父学葬礼一样，态度很好，但不会电影语言———我错了，态度好个屁
三分电影，一分给网大，算是对网大的支持了，崔志佳你也太胖了，跟当年爱笑会议室的崔志佳差太多了，电影虽然还走着小品的套路，但是有一些导演的诚意在里面，算是国内网大中为数不多的好片了，比开心麻花一些电影小品赚票房来的实在。
很一般，不是所有人都能被改造好，有的人真的无可救药。
还不错啊，有喜有悲，虽然剧情设计反转在情理之内简单但是好玩啊，老爷子有点帅是怎么回事
我是真的不喜欢东北题材，可能是我的口味跟不上新的时尚。
👍👍👍我们特别的想问东北人；模仿王晶王家卫的风格有意思吗？？？？
前面有4星，梗很密，也不老套；后面一半不值1星，不知道是咋了怎么老套无聊怎么来，这也不是合拍啊，怎么前后如此泾渭分明，后半部分烂的很彻底，快要接近麻花点电影了，如果那也算是电影。
剧本意外的工整，几处伏笔也挺精妙，导演功底较差，故事节奏忽快忽慢，人物情感铺垫短平直，总体来说算是及格的作品
先说优点，摄影讲究，音效丰富，打鱼小妹的吴侬软语好听，在杜比厅里看很沉浸。再说缺点，套一层黑白滤镜≠水墨化，吝啬台词≠诗意≠适合战争题材，相比起来还是《1917》看着舒服。综上，我愿称之为本届北影节最佳催眠影片。
开头第一镜长镜头蛮好的，感觉主创试图用长镜头摄影、灰蒙的调色与专注个体叙事的理念去制作一部不同于宏大主旋律叙事的独特战争片。表现了一些战争的残酷和战场的混乱。林中的几个镜头倒有些超现实的意味。然而很遗憾，在最终战打响之前又开始搞高呼口号那一套腐朽陈旧的恶心东西，一下子让前面的努力瞬间破功。影片中的敌我双方都是人，也都有兄弟。但对于敌方的描写除了开篇的“鞭尸者”有所点滴着墨，后面便沦为符号。结尾一战我方人员倒下个个都有兄弟赶来支援或陪伴，敌方人员倒下就“享受”不到这种待遇了。唯一的女性角色旁若无人地游走于敌我之间，轻松地与主角一行多次会合，也很无语。单枪匹马的伤员如何突破重重关卡成功完成任务也没交代。如果这就算对“主旋律”的突破，那还差得远呢。两星半
看题材，想着支持一把内地喜剧。。。但节奏很有问题，演技实属尴尬，关键还完全不好笑，看的时候想着打三星吧，直到出现个桥段，连剧情逻辑都不通时，果断二星了。。。本来，真的是想来支持的，结果，浪费一个半小时，连龙姨的二手“月季”都救不回
2021北影节。比故事和人物更印象深刻的是影像。一开始是1个人，落水后是2个，山洞里是3个，中间的时候是8+1，突围死掉2个，水下死掉2个，然后重新集结决战，最终成为0。
放在东北喜剧网大里看，已经很不错了。但它始终不是一部电影，更像是一部加长版的小品或舞台剧。
模仿《药神》和《哀乐女子天团》的痕迹有些重了，但原则上还是鼓励这种稍带夸张成分的现实主义题材网大越来越多的。这个故事里牛的角色太不让人信服了，即使是结尾有反转，依然改变不了他是一个真傻子的形象。他可以是一个假傻子，但是不能是一个完全没有想法的真傻子，观众会觉得被欺骗的。另外，长脸演的那个角色存在的必要性其实很弱，他威胁主人公抢活，自己也没有能说服自己的理由，最后也更不会成为主人公团体拯救他的原因，更不会成为主人公心意改变的因素。这些方面做的还是不太牢固和扎实。
我就一直想不明白为什么没有东北人去抵制这帮出身于东三省却一直在不遗余力黑东三省的喜剧人？一出点东北题材的电影就黑社会，街溜子，打架三连击。对对对，你可以说描写刑满释放人员是希望他们不放弃生活梦想，可最后不还是靠一场打架结束的吗？
休闲看看还行。编剧崔志佳自己，电影梗是小品梗的拼凑，连续性不强，故事比较散。
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